Saturday, March 12, 2005

Clown College Confidential

So for all of you who haven't had the pleasure of this weeks' weather in the Bay Area, today was a trifle upsetting as we prepared for sun and got fog. No matter, the several batches of iced coffee that we prepared to sell to the sweating hordes will be put to use in Hayes Valley.

Which is another benefit to the new location. We're now like the Mongol horde moving West across the Asiatic steppes, wasting nothing and unstoppable.

That is unless you have to take several minute to discuss theories on sources of individual preferences in regards to the two versions of the Goldberg Variations. Dorks.

Ok, so everything went super swell at the market despite the lack of sun. Customers have seemed to prove the hypothesis that the HV location is now a refuge for regulars, leaving the unsuspecting tourists to fall into the slow-sand trap that is the BBC line.

Hopefully these things will work themselves out. It's March and the lines are already stifling. What's going to happen in May?

On the brighter side, the chum bucket is a milk slopping success. And to celebrate the wonders of the chum bucket, we've decided to start naming a weekly winner of the chum bucket award to draw attention to particularly bad behavior from one person or another. Though the lady who told us that she "didn't want to wait anymore for he cup of decaf because she wouldn't have to wait this long in Marin because they do it in air pots and why don't we do it in airpots" was bad; and the lady who showed up with a party of five, two of which were drinking coffee from a certain international coffee chain, to say that she had had to wait too long for her latte (5 minutes!) and this had better be good because she had had to wait so long was possibly worse, this weeks award should really go to Manboy for his negligence in regards to the dumping of the waste tank. Lets just say that after a couple of days, the milk plug that passed through the line was something that assaulted all five the the senses, like "Oh, so that's what they mean by nerve gas being so painful." All his tips will be donated to a fund to pay for Pilot's replacement eyeballs.

Good news is that Hayes Valley had a record Saturday and a close behind Sunday. Oldman pounded out the lattes and drip cups in a spectacular solo show. Sold a lot of beans too.

Sunday was busy all morning, highlighted by a visit from Lisa who quickly drank three lattes and then showed us surgical picture of the inside of a... um, how to say...sounds like Virginia?...that looked like pictures of Jupiter. The confusion sent us into a fit of laughter and an unlucky customer into dry heaves. Who knew that coffee could be so much fun.

Lastly, in a shameless attempt to drive more comments in the comments section, lets play a game. We''ll give you, dedicated readers, a fun "Mad-Lib" opportunity torn straight from real Blue Bottle dialogue:

James Freeman: "There's nothing I enjoy more on a HOT NIGHT than a ___________"

Looking forward to your guesses!


Anonymous Manboy said...

...COLD volume of Proust.

And hey, it's not like I haven't been wiping out your curdled cheese gravy from the inside of the now unrefrigerated reefer in the cart every tuesday. I'll make you a deal, mr. high and mighty: you wipe down the fridge after saturday, and I'll make sure the tank is always always in the best shape imaginable.
maybe i shouldn't be discussing this here...

ps i'll send you a report from the tuesday market tomorrow

1:32 PM  
Anonymous Keith Hamrick said...

double darked frenchie.

Hey--gimme a break. I was just working there! Anyway--who told you?! Im sure it was David Kastle.
What can I say? Its disgusting but folks get cultish over it. "How do you do that? Its sooo good." Uhh--I have a fire extinguisher charged and on the ready.
Meanwhile my light full city Nic sits lonely and ignored.
He didnt tell you about Honky Joe did he?

9:44 PM  

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